Matthew J was a talented vocalist, rapper, writer, friend and my first client. I met Matthew while working as a waiter in Sacramento, California, shortly after completing my undergraduate studies. At the time, Matthew was working odd jobs just to pay for studio time and battling homelessness.
In our small restaurant, we worked with several creative and imaginative people with backgrounds in video production and marketing. Naturally, we all quickly became friends, drawn together by Matthew’s passion for music and powerful R&B vocals. Collaboratively after one too many drinks, we agreed to work together on a simple, but big goal for Mathew. Performing on a stage for the first time.
My first conversation with Matthew had to do with how he liked my handwriting. I had to develop a scratchy legible style to keep up with my many restaurant orders. Matthew on the other hand typed everything from lyrics to server orders in a note app on his phone. Why? He hated his own writing so much that he refused to write things down. After seeing notes I had thrown away after a shift, Mathew insisted my writing style be somewhere on a poster for him. I hated my handwriting! But Matthew only doubled down and I agreed.
Sacrifice, chasing a goal that may never come, and hoping for a time when the struggle was worth it were the themes Matthew addressed in a song called Golden, his latest release at the time. A little twist on the phase "I'm golden" and what comes before that phase can be used. Before you're golden, your not. It's sometimes dark, lonely, grey, self-loathing and absent of spirit.
Matt literally found my handwriting in the trash and it was sometimes difficult to read. So how does that look washed out in grey? How does it look when you're tearing yourself apart through the struggle to get to where you want to be? How does it look when you're trying so hard to be golden?
Below is the very poster I designed for him years ago. It's hard to read the lyrics on purpose because getting to where you want to be is not so simple. Sometimes things fall through and set you back symbolized by the grey circles. Oil or black gold can be hard to get to. Advancing only covers you in black and grey material as you struggle to reach your reward. Many times you have to tough through harsh conditions to reach goals. In many cases people mentally fall apart on their way to being golden like Mattew's face in the poster. All struggles I wished to highlight in a poster for Matthew and his new release.
This poster serves as a memento and a lesson in my design career. I learned that “why” someone is doing something is much more powerful than “what” they are doing. Matthew's music focused on the abuse he suffered as a child, the neglect in his relationships, and the pain of being homeless. Mathew made music and that is how he wanted to achieve his goal. He strongly believed that the worst possible scenario one could face was being alone, and his simple goal was to ensure that others never felt alone when struggling. At the time I was a fresh out of school designer, but it took a struggling homeless musician to help me see that design is so much better with a message to communicate.
Sadly, in January of 2021, Matthew took his own life.
To my first client and friend, Matthew, rest in peace. I hope your voice lives on with the people you have touched. Thank you for the life & design lesson.
